Exclusive to the World Headline News
January 21, 2021 • Issue 149
Releases 'Ethics Handbook'
"NO MALARKEY ALLOWED!"
WHN EXCLUSIVE: Biden's core tenet as outlined in his Ethics Manual: "There will be NO MALARKEY allowed in my White House!" World Headline News © 2021 Ned Ander-Thal.
Almost Washington State (WHN) January 21, 2021. As the ashes of the Trump Administration begin to settle, America anxiously greeted Joe Biden's inauguration as the 46th President of the semi-United States of America. As Mr. Biden was sworn in at 12:00 pm (i.e., High Noon in cowboy parlance) Eastern time and a weight seemingly lifted from the shoulders of much of America and the World. Indeed, per the WHN's resident statistician Ned Ander-Thal calculations, President Biden Inauguration was the most celebrated event of the last 5 years. This calculation was later confirmed by NASA when the Hubble Satellite captured the below photo of the earth during the President's inauguration speech.
"It's Mine, All Mine, all mine!"
WHN EXCLUSIVE: WHN Political Reporter Ned Ander-Thal captured this photo of Joe Biden Wednesday morning as he headed to the U.S. Capital building to be inaugurated as the 46th President of the United States. World Headline News © 2021 Ned Ander-Thal.
Estimated crowd size:
The WHN is sad to announce the passing of one our most devoted subscribers. Acel Ann (Purdy) Scott passed away in Tucson, Arizona on January 15 at the age of 89.
Many on our WHN staff will say that Acel was like a mother to Ned Ander-Thal and made him the person he is today. While some may bemoan that fact, Ned is proud of her contributions to his (lack of?) character.
Angry tRUMP Attempts To Hold Alternative Inauguration
Biden More Than Meets The Moment: Operation Heal America Begins
WHN EXCLUSIVE: As Mr. Biden prepared for the grave (Thanks Trump) challenges facing his Administration, the President graciously gave WHN Political Reporter Ned Ander-Thal a brief interview and early access to the Biden Administration's Ethics Handbook. As detailed in the comprehensive guide, Mr. Biden promises that his Administration will bear little resemblance to the Trump Administration: Per Mr. Biden, "There will be NO MALARKEY allowed in my White House! We don't do things for people only if THEY are nice, we do them because WE are nice. Scout's Honor." When the WHN asked Mr. Biden what he thought were the greatest strengths of the Trump Administration, the President stated:
"They did nothing and, sadly,
they did it very well!"
The exiled Mr. Trump, when contacted at Mar-a-Lago stated, "If there is no malarkey at the White House, how is he going to beat my record TWO impeachments! The guys a looser. I mean 'Q' and the Proud Boys are not going to like this new guy. Anyway, I won... I won... I won... waaaahhhhhh! HEY, CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS, I'M OVER HERE! SWEAR ME IN NOW! Dammit, the 'Supremes' were suppose to be mine. Rudy, file a lawsuit and get this travesty of justice reversed... Rudy, are you drunk again? Where is that Kraken Lady... or my Shaman..."
with only the second Senate Impeachment Trial still to come....
THANK YOU TWITTER...
Finally a Trump Tweet Worth Reading!
2015 - 2021
The 'GOLDEN ERA' OF TRUMP ENDS with silence...