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Satire Since 1993

The TrDumpster Fire

Civil War scholar 'Colonel' Lochlainn Seabrook is one of the most recognized Pro-South writer in the world today.

In this book, 'Colonel' Seabrook addresses how the Democratic Party of the 1850/60s was, philosophically, the Republican Party (Conservative) of today, and that the upstart Republican Party (Liberal) of the 1850/60s was the Democratic Party of today. Per 'Colonel' Seabrook, this simple (Editor: and factually correct) view reforms the American Civil War from what Pro-North writers disingenuously assert was a battle over abolition and slavery, to what it really was.... a massive and bloody contest between Northern liberalism and Southern conservatism!

In light of this, Seabrook states that Modern Republicans should be honoring Jefferson Davis and waving the Confederate Flag. In contrast, Lincoln's name should never be associated with conservatism nor today's Republican Party. Rather Lincoln should  ONLY be associated with the EVILS of liberalism and socialism.

WHN DISCLAIMER: This book, along with all other Seabrook civl war books, adopts a clear pro-South interpretation of the civil war and a strong anti-Lincoln stance, but does clearly point out the irony when comparing the Trumpian Republican Party of 2020 with the Party of Lincoln in 1860. The "Colonel" (I can find no information on his rank; honorific?) is a beloved author by southern revisionism and multiple books on the civil war universally praising the south.  He is also coauthor of: "Princess Diana: Modern Day Moon-Goddess - A Psychoanalytical and Mythological Look at Diana Spencer’s Life, Marriage, and Death."

WHN Debate Summary

Petulant Trump Attempts To LOUDLY Talk Over BOTH Joe Biden and Chris Wallace;  Won't Commit To A Peaceful Transition Should He Lose; Encourages Right Wing Supporters to Go To The Polls To WATCH; Accuses Biden of Witchcraft... er, socialism...

TRUMP TOUTS HIS STIMULUS PACKAGE

"Hey, I gave Stormy $130,000 for, um, er, stimulation...."

DARK

TRUMP: "It's Only 'Democracy' If I Win!"

WILL DEMOCRACY GO

Trump urges his Proud Boy supporters “to go in to the polls and watch very carefully.”

(in select liberal/minority areas)

(intimidate)

(strongly)

New York Times BOMBSHELL

PROUD BOYS, OATH KEEPERS, BIKERS FOR TRUMP and others gear up for 'battlefield service' to Trump starting November 3. Nate 'The Great White' Gibbon's, leader of the Great Orange Politician (G.O.P.) militia stated, "We are well armed, and usually drunk, so it should be no problem to deal with anybody that we think might be voting 'illegally' and a vote for Biden should be illegal. Can't let the wrong people -  you know, people that like the Post Office, drive hybrid or electric cars, have too many melanocytes, or live in 'radicalized' neighborhoods - which we identify by the presence of hybrid cars and/or abundant melanocytes - vote.... I do have one question though... Is Melanocyte Melania's sister, cause they is both foreign, right?"

Kimberly Gargoyle, er, Guilfoyle, Was 'Fired' From FoxNews

Her Former Assistant Was Paid $4 Million in 'Hush Money'

Almost Washington State (WHN) October 3, 2020.  In an explosive New Yorker story, it was disclosed that Donald Trump Jr.'s girlfriend Kimberly Gargoyle, er, Guilfoyle, [infamous for her, ahh, impassioned, 'screech' at the Republican Convention] was forced to resign from her job at FoxNews in 2018 due to her sexual harassment of her female assistant. The alleged harassment included often forcing the assistant to work out of "The Gargoyle's" apartment while Ms. Guilfoyle walked around naked. Ms. Gargoyle also insited on showing her assistant intimate photos of the male genitalia of Ms. Guilfoyle's sex partners. While Ms. Gargoyle, er, Guilfoyle denies all of these claims, FoxNews has reportedly paid the unnamed assistant $4,000,000 for her silence. Following her "resignation" this paragon of virtue was hired by the President Trump to serve as his Campaign Finance Chair...

Almost Washington State (WHN) October 3, 2020.  In the midst of the 2020 Presidential Campaign, Donald Trump announced a NEW White House initiative based on Melania Trump's "Be Best" campaign. According to Mr. Trump, the "Be Positive" campaign officially commenced on October 1; though a pilot program was initiated in early February.

Despite the apparent 'positive' vibe of the "Be Positive" campaign, Joe Biden, the Democratic candidate for President, has stated that the campaign is anything but positive. "Over 7 million people have joined the "Be Positive" campaign since the pilot program began in February and of these, over 205,000 have died. How can you 'Be Positive' and 'Be Happy'?" stated an agitated Mr. Biden.

Almost Washington State (WHN) October 3, 2020.  According to the New York Times, Mr. Trump, a putative billionaire, paid only $750 in personal Income Tax in both 2016 and 2017 and paid NO income tax in 10 of the last 15 years. Of concern to national security experts, it was also reported that Mr. Trump has $400,000,000+ in mostly foreign loans due by 2024 and may also face a potential $100,000,000+ IRS judgement and possible fines. Tax analysts state that Mr. Trump may be open to tax fraud charges as well.

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Following the New York Times report, Mr. Trump is facing potential bankruptcy in 2024. Moreover, according to well informed sources, Mr. Trump may lose his current job, as well as his public housing, in early November. Frightened by the prospect, intrepid WHN Reporter Ned Ander-Thal tracked Mr. Trump down to a Washington D.C. street corner where he was soliciting donations. Despite his personal dejection, an ebullient Melania Trump was observed to be singing, "New York Is the Place for Me".  World Headline News © 2020 Ned Ander-Thal.

Republican Family Value News

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Efforts continue in Congress to pass a second stimulus package for Americans hit hard by the pandemic. In an effort to 'stimulate' the talks between the House and Senate, Mr. Trump provided key negotiators with a detailed description of his past stimulus packages. World Headline News © 2020 Ned Ander-Thal.

Trump Has Lost MORE Money Than Any Other American EVER

WHN EXCLUSIVE: Ms. Gargoyle was most infamous for her RNC speech praising Donald Trump and for being the girlfriend of Donald Trump Jr. No information was provided as to whether Don Jr. genitalia was displayed to the shocked assistant. World Headline News © 2020 Ned Ander-Thal.

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Dies

"The Notorious R.G.B."

Beloved by liberals, reviled by conservatives, Justice Ginsburg died September 18, 2020. Despite the precident set by Republicans with Obama's nomination of Neil Gorsuch, Republicans promise to fill the seat prior to the 2020 election.

R.G.B. was nominated by President Bill Clinton in 1993 (the year the WHN was founded!) and at the time was generally viewed as a moderate consensus-builder. She eventually became part of the liberal wing of the Court as the Court shifted to the right over time. Ginsburg was the first Jewish woman and the second woman (after Sandra Day O'Connor) to serve on the Court.  

And Other 'October Surprises'

TRUMP: "Proud Boys, Stand Back, Stand Ready!"

October 3, 2020   •   Issue 139

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